Thursday, December 22, 2005
Alien Citing

Last April, Team Reform went out of their way to let everyone know they opposed granting state benefits to illegal aliens. Romney's $150,000-a-year Loathsome Spokesman sniffed that "(w)hen it comes to providing state benefits to illegal aliens, no matter how well-intentioned, the governor believes we need to proceed very carefully and don’t do anything that undermines federal immigration law." (source: The Boston Channel, 4/21/2005)

Who knew these guys were so tough?

So imagine our surprise when we learned that Willard Mitt, defender of all that's true and American, tried to award 'tuition-free scholarships' good at any Massachusetts public college or university to more than thirty undocumented immigrants (aka - illegal aliens.) (source: Boston Globe, 12/21/2005)

Don't believe us? Here's the skinny:

At least four and perhaps as many as thirty-four undocumented immigrants received letters from the Fraud Governor himself, congratulating their hard work and school achievement and telling them that the grants were "the strongest expression we can make of our commitment to attracting you - the best and brightest in the state - to our Commonwealth's public higher education system." (source: Boston Globe, 12/21/2005)

So there you have it, kids: Willard Mitt, who "believes we need to proceed very carefully and don’t do anything that undermines federal immigration law," thinks that providing tuition-free scholarships to illegal aliens is "the strongest expression we can make of our commitment to attracting the best and brightest to the Commonwealth's public higher education system."

Let's hope no one hears about this.


Monday, December 19, 2005
Silent Night

It's December, which means it's time for the rabid right to launch their annual Christmas jihad and declare war on Holiday Trees across the land.

Ever the good soldier, Willard Mitt did his part by announcing the lighting of "the official State House Christmas Tree." (source: Office of (Fraud) Gov, 12/9/05)

Which is slightly odd, since the Fraud Governor is a practicing Mormon, and Mormons do not appear to believe that Christ was born on December 25. (source: lightplanet.com) Which begs the answer: what do Mormons celebrate on Christmas if not the birth of Christ? And if Christmas is not a religious celebration to Mormons, why did Willard Mitt use the term "Christmas Tree" instead of "Holiday Tree"?

But we digress.

Back to the Holiday, er ... Christmas Tree.

Willard Mitt made a big deal about lighting the Christmas Tree. But have you been by the State House lately? It's as cheery as ... a Christmas tree in January.

This is not to say that Willard Mitt has a principled stand against decorating the People's House. Just last year, for example, he did the place up Red.

But during 'the most wonderful time of the year' the Building is not festooned in Christmas or Holiday Lights. It's lit up, but just as it is every night be it December, April or July.

So who's the Scrooge who decided not to hang Christmas lights on the State House this year?

Or perhaps the holiday spirit took its direction from the bright blue sign that stands in front of the State House seemingly as a nod to the Fraud Governor's approach to the Commonwealth.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Romney is a Fluck

Say it ain't so, Fraudo.

Not content with being the Fraud Governor, Willard Mitt is now the weakest beast known to man - and legislator: a Fraud Lame Duck.

Worse, he is a lame duck without portfolio. He *might* run for president. But be honest, when was the last time a Massachusetts elected official cared about the President? (Wait a minute, we don't mean that President. We mean that President.)

If Willard Mitt thought dealing with the Legislature was tough when he had a modicum of juice wait'll Romney gets back into action in January.

Anyway, when push comes to shove, at the end of the day, in the final analysis ... Willard Mitt is outta here. After saying for months that he was not going to be outta here.

What a fittingly mediocre coda.

Who was it said, "I think everybody should be taken at their word"? (source: Boston Globe, 8/8/2003) Yeah, we don't remember either.

"I do expect that I'll be running again as governor."
Willard Mitt Romney, Boston Globe, November 4, 2004

"I made it clear very early on . . . that I'm here all four years and hopefully reelected after that. I will not change my commitment."
Willard Mitt Romney, Boston Globe, November 4, 2004

"I will kick off probably late this coming year for governor, with Kerry Healey working with me. She is a very effective lieutenant governor and under-recognized in some respects."
Willard Mitt Romney, Boston Herald, December 21, 2004

"They say: `Oh he's not going to run again. He's not going to run again,' Well, I've got some news for them: I am going to run again. So come on in, I'm happy to face them. And if they want to think about whether they're going to face an opponent named Romney in the fall, the answer is, yeah, that's what they should plan for."
Willard Mitt Romney, Boston Globe, December 23, 2004

"Of course I am going to run for re-election."
Willard Mitt Romney, WCVB-TV, December 21, 2004

"I will not be a candidate for re-election."
Willard Mitt Romney, Associated Press, December 14, 2005

Big surprise. As someone once said, "Willard Mitt's time is ka-put; his footprint looks to be as lasting as a gull's at low-tide." (source: RiaF, 4/18/2005)

Zounds. So what happens next?

We'll think of something.

Saturday, December 10, 2005
Happy Days Are Here Again!

(Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please rise for the Fraud Governor of the Commonwealth: Willard Mitt.)

It's the most wonderful time of the year.

You get to show that you appreciate my service the Commonwealth by buying me a gift; I get to celebrate the holiest of non-Suffolk-County-only holidays with an out-of-state ski vacation.

So why not celebrate by buying me a book! People love to read a good book. Some even tried "my" book.

And while you should make every effort to support independent booksellers, I took the easy way out and worked with the good people at Amazon.com to create this list of gifts that I'll treasure forever. And maybe even use!

Please note as I was the first Massachusetts gov to enforce the internet sales tax, if you buy on-line send me a personal check for five percent of the purchase price and I'll make sure it gets to the right place.

Thanks for helping me make it in and out of Massachusetts.

Happy holidays. And happy shopping.


Willard Mitt
Fraud Governor


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