Thursday, March 04, 2004
Hidden Winners and Losers in L'Affair de Beefcake Brown
WINNERS
Sen. Jo Ann Sprague: now that Scott Brown has ascended to the Upper Chamber, Sprague can relinquish the lead shoe weights she's been forced to wear as "the lightest lawmaker."
Michael Alan Krupka, Chris Collins, Herb Collins, Mary Kirsch, Carol and Jeffrey Horvitz, and Betty and James Knott: they laundered upwards of $5,000 each through the Republican State Committee, and now have access to the freshman senator from Norfolk, Bristol and Middlesex.
Howie Carr: look whose candidate finally won! Sources claim that Cap'n Conservative may have helped raise campaign cash for Beefcake Brown, and point to an awful lot of Wellesley-centric donations that came in to the Boy-Toy's coffers in early February. (source: OCPF) So now that Cheryl Jacques is out of office, what are you going to do, How? Other than chat about TV-Land and eat free ribs, of course.
Angus McQuilken: the former chief of staff to former Sen. Cheryl Jacques was viewed for a brief and shining moment as a legitimate player.
Beacon Hill Lobbyists: never again will they have to call Angus McQuilken "Chief," a nickname he gave himself that was almost as revolting as Willard Mitt's "Ike."
Finneran and Travaglini: the Speaker and the President always win. Always have, always will. Even when it looks like they've lost, they win. That's just the way it is. Get over it.
LOSERS
Michael Alan Krupka, Chris Collins, Herb Collins, Mary Kirsch, Carol and Jeffrey Horvitz, and Betty and James Knott: they laundered upwards of $5,000 each through the Republican State Committee (source: MA Money and Politics Project, 2/24/2004), and all they get for their money is access to the freshman senator from Norfolk, Bristol and Middlesex. How ignoble! Worse, now that they have been publicly spotted as major donors to the RSC, they'll never get anything from Team Reform without incurring a charge of quid pro fraud. Great investment, guys.
Angus McQuilken: the former chief of staff to former Sen. Cheryl Jacques was viewed for a brief and shining moment as a legitimate player. Now he's just the former chief of staff to former Sen. Cheryl Jacques who lost to that former nude model. Worse, McQuilken is now predicting that Brown will be unbeatable come a November rematch, saying "The outcome (of a recount) is going to affect voters in this district for years to come." (source: Boston Globe, 3/4/2004) We hope he meant dog-years.
Sherry Kerry Healey: if Brown had lost, and Romney honored our offer of 3/2/2004, she would today be acting governor of the Commonwealth. Hey, we tried. The good news is the Lightweight LG now has more time to download MP3s from her favorite band, the Buzzcocks. (source: Boston Globe, 12/8/2003)
The Buzzcocks: the once hep-band now boasts fans like Lightweight LG Sherry Kerry Healey. We wonder if they will play their feel-good hit "Orgasm Addict" at Team Reform's next sock hop?
Howie Carr: look whose candidate finally won! A 'source' said that Cap'n Carr may have helped raise cash for Beefcake Brown. Looks like Bill Bulger was right when he said Carr was just an unregistered influence peddler.
Romney's loathsome $150,000-a-year spokesman: he is now reduced to pretending that a Scott Brown victory is actually a noteworthy event. Sure sure. Now tell us, is that three-year salary average truly worth this humiliation?
Voters in the Norfolk, Bristol and Middlesex district: Congratulations. Your state Senator is one of seven Republicans in a 40-member Senate. You have just disenfranchised yourselves from getting anything more important than a bridge-naming through the chamber. Looking for help from a sympathetic Legislature? Move to New Hampshire.
survey SAYS?
Yesterday, someone who should know better wrote, "Isn't it a great day! I was surprised to see your (sic) still writing . . . "
We presume he was referring less to our wooden prose than our bloviation that if Beefcake Brown won his election, we'd resign, put RiaF in cement shoes, and sink "Ben" to the bottom of Frog Pond.
To which we now say, "Poppymalechicken!" After all, who are we to say whether Ben should live or die?
If gay marriage, Clean Elections, bi-lingual ed and the legitimacy of a nude model are fodder for public decision-making, then so is RiaF.
So we'll leave it up to you.
If you think "Romney is a Fraud" and Ben should live, send us a note with "Let 'em live" in the subject line.
And if you think we should pull the plug on the little guttersnipe, send us a note with "Rot in hell you bastard you" in the subject line.
We'll post (unattributed) excerpts from your responses and the final results on Monday.
Operators are standing by.
WINNERS
Sen. Jo Ann Sprague: now that Scott Brown has ascended to the Upper Chamber, Sprague can relinquish the lead shoe weights she's been forced to wear as "the lightest lawmaker."
Michael Alan Krupka, Chris Collins, Herb Collins, Mary Kirsch, Carol and Jeffrey Horvitz, and Betty and James Knott: they laundered upwards of $5,000 each through the Republican State Committee, and now have access to the freshman senator from Norfolk, Bristol and Middlesex.
Howie Carr: look whose candidate finally won! Sources claim that Cap'n Conservative may have helped raise campaign cash for Beefcake Brown, and point to an awful lot of Wellesley-centric donations that came in to the Boy-Toy's coffers in early February. (source: OCPF) So now that Cheryl Jacques is out of office, what are you going to do, How? Other than chat about TV-Land and eat free ribs, of course.
Angus McQuilken: the former chief of staff to former Sen. Cheryl Jacques was viewed for a brief and shining moment as a legitimate player.
Beacon Hill Lobbyists: never again will they have to call Angus McQuilken "Chief," a nickname he gave himself that was almost as revolting as Willard Mitt's "Ike."
Finneran and Travaglini: the Speaker and the President always win. Always have, always will. Even when it looks like they've lost, they win. That's just the way it is. Get over it.
LOSERS
Michael Alan Krupka, Chris Collins, Herb Collins, Mary Kirsch, Carol and Jeffrey Horvitz, and Betty and James Knott: they laundered upwards of $5,000 each through the Republican State Committee (source: MA Money and Politics Project, 2/24/2004), and all they get for their money is access to the freshman senator from Norfolk, Bristol and Middlesex. How ignoble! Worse, now that they have been publicly spotted as major donors to the RSC, they'll never get anything from Team Reform without incurring a charge of quid pro fraud. Great investment, guys.
Angus McQuilken: the former chief of staff to former Sen. Cheryl Jacques was viewed for a brief and shining moment as a legitimate player. Now he's just the former chief of staff to former Sen. Cheryl Jacques who lost to that former nude model. Worse, McQuilken is now predicting that Brown will be unbeatable come a November rematch, saying "The outcome (of a recount) is going to affect voters in this district for years to come." (source: Boston Globe, 3/4/2004) We hope he meant dog-years.
Sherry Kerry Healey: if Brown had lost, and Romney honored our offer of 3/2/2004, she would today be acting governor of the Commonwealth. Hey, we tried. The good news is the Lightweight LG now has more time to download MP3s from her favorite band, the Buzzcocks. (source: Boston Globe, 12/8/2003)
The Buzzcocks: the once hep-band now boasts fans like Lightweight LG Sherry Kerry Healey. We wonder if they will play their feel-good hit "Orgasm Addict" at Team Reform's next sock hop?
Howie Carr: look whose candidate finally won! A 'source' said that Cap'n Carr may have helped raise cash for Beefcake Brown. Looks like Bill Bulger was right when he said Carr was just an unregistered influence peddler.
Romney's loathsome $150,000-a-year spokesman: he is now reduced to pretending that a Scott Brown victory is actually a noteworthy event. Sure sure. Now tell us, is that three-year salary average truly worth this humiliation?
Voters in the Norfolk, Bristol and Middlesex district: Congratulations. Your state Senator is one of seven Republicans in a 40-member Senate. You have just disenfranchised yourselves from getting anything more important than a bridge-naming through the chamber. Looking for help from a sympathetic Legislature? Move to New Hampshire.
survey SAYS?
Yesterday, someone who should know better wrote, "Isn't it a great day! I was surprised to see your (sic) still writing . . . "
We presume he was referring less to our wooden prose than our bloviation that if Beefcake Brown won his election, we'd resign, put RiaF in cement shoes, and sink "Ben" to the bottom of Frog Pond.
To which we now say, "Poppymalechicken!" After all, who are we to say whether Ben should live or die?
If gay marriage, Clean Elections, bi-lingual ed and the legitimacy of a nude model are fodder for public decision-making, then so is RiaF.
So we'll leave it up to you.
If you think "Romney is a Fraud" and Ben should live, send us a note with "Let 'em live" in the subject line.
And if you think we should pull the plug on the little guttersnipe, send us a note with "Rot in hell you bastard you" in the subject line.
We'll post (unattributed) excerpts from your responses and the final results on Monday.
Operators are standing by.
